“To say goodbye is to die a little.”

“I dont mind if you dont like my manners. Theyre pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings.”

“Television's perfect. You turn a few knobs, a few of those mechanical adjustments at which the higher apes are so proficient, and lean back and drain your mind of all thought. And there you are wat...”

“There are two kinds of truth: the truth that lights the way and the truth that warms the heart. The first of these is science, and the second is art. Neither is independent of the other or more imp...”

“You're broke, eh?"I been shaking two nickels together for a month, trying to get them to mate.”

“Being a copper I like to see the law win. I'd like to see the flashy well-dressed mugs like Eddie Mars spoiling their manicures in the rock quarry at Folsom, alongside of the poor little slum-bred ...”

“The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism.”

“I'm sitting in front of the TV, watching Jerry Springer, and it makes me think of how many mad people there are in the world, and whether everyone is mad deep down, they just pretend they're not, a...”

“This is a good place," he said."There's a lot of liquor," I agreed.”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”