“And I watch 'Saturday Night Live' religiously, I have since I was a little boy. I watch it basically like one of my favorite sports teams.”

“There's lots of problem solving in any marriage, but when you have this collective goal that is a human being, it's an inspiring rally point.”

“A lot of modern comedies are difficult to watch too, because they're so ironic and so detached and so quote-unquote clever. They kind of keep you at arm's length. They can be really funny, but they...”

“My wife handles all of our technology. So if something goes wrong with the computer, I throw up my arms and step aside while the IT gal figures it out.”

“Lost Time is never found again.”

“How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever.”

“Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.”

“Anyone who is willing to work and is serious about it will certainly find a job. Only you must not go to the man who tells you this, for he has no job to offer and doesn't know anyone who knows of ...”

“Choose your counsel, company and companions wisely: beware seeking wise words of advice from a fool or expecting informed opinions or decisions from the ignorant.”

“If you find it difficult to get along with your boss, try to reason with him and talk through your differences. If that doesn't work, drive him to suicide and take over the company.”

“One day, I decided to help wherever I could & it was almost like magic, because I was exactly what the world needed everywhere I went.”

“There is no more compelling motivation to worthwhile endeavor than the knowledge that we are children of God, that God expects us to do something with our lives, and that He will give us help when ...”

“Only a person who is motivated in the inner depths of his being will help without hesitation and with no obligation for the one helped.”