“And I watch 'Saturday Night Live' religiously, I have since I was a little boy. I watch it basically like one of my favorite sports teams.”

“A lot of modern comedies are difficult to watch too, because they're so ironic and so detached and so quote-unquote clever. They kind of keep you at arm's length. They can be really funny, but they...”

“My wife handles all of our technology. So if something goes wrong with the computer, I throw up my arms and step aside while the IT gal figures it out.”

“I think once I fail enough as a dad, I'll be looking for help wherever I can get it. I just need enough time to screw things up and then I'll start looking to TV dads for advice.”

“The term "work" is getting thrown around as though everyone seems to be doing so. The question is, working for what? Every time I am at work, it means I am getting closer to my goal. Once you have ...”

“Success, like happiness, is a by-product, not a goal.”

“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals. If you arent grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”

“The problem of society is that they use a single word to describe you.”

“Beastliness means taking that is unrightful [of someones else right], eating that is unrightful, thinking of accumulating things which is unrightful [not of ones own right]. There is no problem in ...”

“The only problem is time.”

“The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is.”

“There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.”

“The moral of the tale is, don't live for the approval of others. The real you is here to find out the secret of life, not to satisfy someone else's opinion.”