“A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.”

“And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.”

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”

“If you want to be seen, stand up.If you want to be heard, speak up.If you want to be appreciated, shut up.”

“gray hair is gods graffiti”

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”

“I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.”

“She doesn't need your money. Even a penniless fool like you can make her fall in love with you. That's just miracle.”

“And the world re-ordered itself around me. I spoke each word carefully. 'You are so stupid.”

“Worry is like a rocking-chair. It gives you something to do buy gets you nowhere.”

“But if that was going to happen, it was going to happen whether or not he worried about it.”

“Perhaps the greatest worry of all was that one day you would realize that all the worries of your life amounted to one thing: the desire to just stop worrying.”

“A philanderer cannot be a parent - a parent cannot be a philanderer.”

“What parent has it easy? I just never make the difficulty of it an obstacle. I just do it.”

“When it comes right down to it, developing a critical sensibility about parenting isn't really about disapproval; it's about honing your own sensibilities, figuring out how you want to parent.”