“Members of the Senate and House, if they want to send troops into war, should be forced to send a family member. That would really make everyone stop and go, 'Ohhh-kaaay.'”

“I remember going with my mom to a random garage sale as a kid and thinking what a cool treasure hunt that whole world was. Only to transition as an adult to think, 'What a gross place that really is.'”

“I was never a class clown or anything like that, but I do remember being in the first grade and my teacher, Mr. Chad, told the class one day that we were going to do some exercises. He meant math e...”

“When I was a kid, 'Land of the Lost' was my favorite show, just because it was - in the landscape of Saturday morning cartoons - it was so unique. It was a live-action show and kids were in it, the...”

“It'd be great to be in a position where you can make choices regardless of money. My tastes are always gonna lead me to go for the amazing project where I'm being paid in Turkish cantaloupes.”

“I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.”

“She doesn't recognize the numbernone of her friends use their phones as phones anymore.”

“Than Shwe ordered the confiscation of all cell phones and laptops and computers so no reportage could come out of Burma. It seemed clear that a demon, something diabolical, rather than something co...”

“She doesn't recognize the number—none of her friends use their phones as phones anymore.”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

“Smartass Disciple: Master, can you trust this bank to keep your money safe?Master of Stupidity: Well, I can put a bit less distrust on this bank than others.”

“A data bank holding all the information that is in this universe can be found in God”

“Victorian architecture in the United States was copied straight from England.”