“With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.-Jack Nicholson”

“I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what is appealing to an audience is the dramatic or has to do with science fiction, and Schmidt is simply human. The...”

“The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.”

“If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women.”

“My motto is: more good times.”

“Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.”

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

“If I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the sea, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and t...”

“I'm an Earth ecstatic, and my creed is simple: All life is sacred, life loves life, and we are capable of improving our behavior toward one another. As basic as that is, for me it's also tonic and ...”

“Earlier People used to hate a lieSince now lie has become truth and truth has become a lie.They still hate a lie”

“We have to lie to ourselves to live. Otherwise, we'd go crazy.”

“We wait and think and doubt and hate. How does it make you feel? The overwhelming feeling is rage. We hate ourself for being unable to be other than what we are. Unable to be better. We feel rage. ...”

“I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people-to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole, to see the cause and think it's the effect or vice versa”

“At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear.”

“I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.”