“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”

“Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.”

“Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I w...”

“Being a celebrity, you always get really good seats to sporting events, but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports.”

“But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.”

“We speak the truth because we live in truth.”

“There are occasions when it pays better to fight and be beaten than not to fight at all.”

“But for what purpose was the earth formed?" asked Candide. "To drive us mad," replied Martin.”

“I can take it. The tougher it gets, the cooler I get.”

“There is just one thing I can promise you about the outer-space program - your tax-dollar will go further.”

“If I can only be known as one thing, then, well, I guess it would be poet and performer and teacher.”

“The more they applaud, the bigger your salary will be.”