“Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a huge research staff to study the problem.”

“We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.”

“A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.”

“The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.”

“The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.”

“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.”

“Youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness.”

“Youth is like having a big plate of candy. Sentimentalists think they want to be in the pure, simple state they were in before they ate the candy. They don't. They just want the fun of eating it al...”

“The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is unbecoming.”

“I avoid that bleak first hour of the working day during which my still sluggish senses and body make every chore a penance. I find that in arriving later, the work which I do perform is of a much h...”

“How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”

“If you want to know the value of a minute ask the person who came to the train station or airport a minute late.”

“The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is.”

“There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.”

“The moral of the tale is, don't live for the approval of others. The real you is here to find out the secret of life, not to satisfy someone else's opinion.”