“Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a huge research staff to study the problem.”

“Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.”

“A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.”

“The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.”

“The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.”

“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.”

“I feel like every project I work on is a dream project, so long as I am learning.”

“Love, too, has to be learned.”

“Every pain is a lesson.”