“You think maybe if you just work harder and faster, you can hold off the chaos, but then one day youre changing a patio light bulb with a five-year life span and you realize how youll only be chang...”

“Youve thrown down the gauntlet. Youve brought my wrath down upon your house. Now, to prove that I exist I must kill you. As the child outlives the father, so must the character bury the author. If ...”

“Real smart begins when you quit quoting other people.”

“I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me li...”

“I've got about ten things to say to you right now. But at least nine of them would make me sound like a psycho.In spite of the seriousness of the situation, I nearly smiled. Whats the tenth thing? ...”

“A truly happy woman drives some men and almost every other woman absolutely crazy”

“All Mad"'He is mad as a hare, poor fellow, And should be in chains,' you say,I haven't a doubt of your statement, But who isn't mad, I pray?Why, the world is a great asylum, And the people are all...”

“I write humor as it's pretty much the only thing keeping me out of an asylum.”

“Cassidy continued to rub his chest and groaned at Ollie pleadingly. I don"t like it. Make it stop.It"s just love, sweetie. It won"t kill you. I promi”