“All I knew was, my Father was famous for being a loser, and a loser that wanted nothing to do with me, since the day I was born.”

“My feet crunched over dry hickory leaves. Wood rangers had stapled up Smokey Bear (Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires!) signs along the state roads. One cigarette butt flicked out a passing car wind...”

“Last time I was on the welcome Wagon, I was holding some guy by the balls for 15 minutes while the inspector explained why should leave (Birmingham) and go home... It were really painful.I bet it w...”

“Stupidity and wisdom meet in the same centre of sentiment and resolution, in the suffering of human accidents.”

“If this man had not twelve thousand a year, he would be a very stupid fellow.”

“There are only 2 paths to happiness in life. Utter Stupidity or Exceptional Wealth.”