“Homo Cannot Erectus”

“I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man.”

“Of puns it has been said that those most dislike who are least able to utter them.”

“You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?”

“Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?”

“In some ways blowjobs are better than sex because when you have a mouthful of cock you can't make snide comments.”