“The old Janey only drank cheap wine and light beer. The new Janey is classy, prefers cocktails, and even drinks alone.”

“I sneak quietly up the stairs and toward my door. Its not very late, but I dont want to arouse Cyclops Eye next door. Ive stopped looking as I walk past, but its difficult not to notice her window ...”

“He stares at me, not saying a word. I stare right back, lost in his eyes and determined to get my point across. If he wants to have a staring contest, hell lose, hands down. I know a good thing whe...”

“After a few more minutes of daydreaming about how fabulous I could become, I look down at the heading on my paper: Janey's Reinvention Plan. It appears lonely at the top of the page. I should proba...”

“I'm overweight, despise change, and rarely, if ever, initiate anything. Unlike my friends, Ive had no drama in my life which might qualify as box office material. If a little more drama came my way...”

“Professional is an apt definition for me, professional slouch, that is. I can be very professional at seeming to do work, but the real work is trying to do as little as possible, without getting ca...”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Money changes people. This process is more commonly known as trading.”

“To my fellow authors heed these words with much importance, " It is redundant for a true writer to sell their soul for literary fame, since the soul is a writer's inner voice...”

“There is always room in my life for a unicorn.(i.e. fantasy)”