“Sometimes divorce isnt an earth-shattering loss. Sometimes its just two people waking up out of a fog.”

“And heres why it worked: man or woman, gay, straight, bisexual, you name it, we all just want to be teased.”

“Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper.”

“Whats that saying? Behind every gorgeous woman, theres a man sick of screwing her? Well, it works both ways. No one mentions that part.”

“Why have I spent so long settling for less when I know damn well the world expects more?”

“You should know this about the rich: they always want to get richer. It is never boring, getting your hands on more money.”

“If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance; but since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way with...”

“When we are at peace within our marriage, the effects can be astounding! We will raise happier children, become better employees, and overall find the joy in life.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”