“If I never went home, what exactly would I be missing? I pictured my cold cavernous house, my friendless town full of bad memories, the utterly unremarkable life that had been mapped out for me. It...”

“She moved to pinch me again but I blocked her hand. I'm no expert on girls, but when one tries to pinch you four times, I'm pretty sure that's flirting.”

“I didnt know what to call it, what was happening between us, but I liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good.”

“...slow and drunk is no match for fast and scared shitless.”

“That was our friendship: equal parts irritation and cooperation.”

“..he had trampled her poor, pining heart, and the wound was still raw, even these many years later.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”