“In the meantime, I had to get dressed and go to work, because going to work in my pajamas was apparently the definition of unprofessional. Cookie's words. I looked it up though. She was wrong. Webs...”

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, She was really happy when I got there. Im pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.You do have that effect on people.”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt”

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.I pointed to my right breast. This is Danger. Then my left. And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them according...”

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.”

“We are all so guilty at the way we have allowed the world around us to become more ugly and tasteless every year that we surrender to terror and steep ourselves in it.”

“Prison always has been a good place for writers, killing, as it does, the twin demons of mobility and diversion”

“All others are outside myself;I lock my door and bar them outThe turmoil, tedium, gad-about.I lock my door upon myself,And bar them out; but who shall wallSelf from myself, most loathed of all?If I...”

“Fall, sweetheart. I'll catch you.”

“You don't appreciate the things that come easy. The things we fight for are the things we keep with us forever.”

“He leaned in close and spoke low. "Wow, I don't know what the hell I did to put that look on your face, but you need to write it down so I can commit it to memory.”