“The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”

“Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.”

“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'""The mood will pass, sir.”

“Cut the ending. Revise the script. The man of her dreams is a girl.”

“Girls get screwed.Not that kind of screwed, what I mean is, they're always on the short end of things.The way things work, how guys feel great, but make girls feelcheap for doingexactly what they b...”

“Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don't want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled.”

“A true success is when you become a reason for a Smile on their face.”

“You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.”

“You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth.”