“I dont want to sit there and be like, Oh, I dont care what the audience thinks. It does matter to me. I just want them to think, to be honest.”

“The thing about stand-up was, I was doing all this sketch and YouTube stuff where I was not being censored and I got to do my own thing, and it was really cool.”

“I call 'Community' the best day job in the world, because between takes, I get to write music. I get to write sketches. I get to write movies. It's the best job ever.”

“I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits.”

“Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.”

“I personally don't believe people really grow. They just learn stuff when they were a kid, and hold on to it, and that affects every relationship they have.”

“Dont work too hard. Try to maintain balance. Dont make work your whole life.”

“The more completely you can be yourself, the more fully and consciously you participate in the world.”

“Let your body work until it is spent, but keep your mind to yourself.”

“At war, there's no right or wrong.Winner's right while loser's wrong.”

“Nothing closes doors as quickly as constant bad humor, reclamation, whining. Nobody wants to associate themselves with losers.”

“Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.”

“Rather than the strength it takes to not lose, it's the strength to stand back up after a loss that is sometimes more valuable.”

“You need to be my wife to win with me.”

“Look yourself... staring into the monitor... and your time is going to be lost like that...First secondsSecond minutesThird hours”