“Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”

“Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst. ”

“It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”

“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a we...”

“Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.”

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”