“Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.”

“Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.”

“Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're totally welcome, guys. P.S. Girls can't see this sentence!!!!!)”

“Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it ...”

“Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right. ”

“Entertainment is business: the business of fucking art in the face.”

“If you hire people just because they can do a job, theyll work for your money. But if you hire people who believe what you believe, theyll work for you with blood and sweat and tears.”

“My model for business is The Beatles. They were four guys who kept each other kind of negative tendencies in check. They balanced each other and the total was greater than the sum of the parts. Tha...”

“Dont worry, Im not quitting. Ive decided Im going to stay andmake his life a living hell while I run his business into the ground.--Kim to Abe”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”