“Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.”

“Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like.”

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.”

“I never met a man that I didn't like.”

“All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.”

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”

“If this country is ever demoralized, it will come from trying to live without work.”

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

“The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“It is so hard to leaveuntil you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”

“I remembered that once, as a child, I was filled with wonder, that I had marveled at tri-folded science projects, encyclopedias, and road atlases. I left much of that wonder somewhere between Mrs.W...”

“Most of us probably fall several times a day into a fit somewhat like this: The eyes are fixed on vacancy, the sounds of the world melt into a confused unity, the attention is dispersed so that the...”