Breaking the circleMy eyes darken when I see my new lover. Fresh prey.My body doesnt really react in a sexual way.Its the devil inside me that celebrates next conquest.We exchange meaningless sweet words.His hungry gaze penetrates my breasts and ass.Another drink and laughter.And then another one.Sometimes I get very drunk or high.And then I dont feel him between my legs.I dont see his sweating face.I dont hear his moans and questions if I came.I cant stay sober when I cheat on you.Im such a coward that I cant even face this inner monster.It consumes me, it takes away my dignity. It makes me do horrible things.It hurts you, the only one who ever loved me.Who knows what I really am.No. Its not the monster. Its me. I am the whore.I dig my nails into your soft flesh until it bleeds.I am the one pushing you away, feasting on your kindness. I blame those hard punches of my past for my infidelity. Those cruel hands. Those hateful words. I try not to, I really do. I try to be a better person.But how can I if I am just nobody?You know why I leave. Yet you stay. Youre there when Im back.With your sorrow and cry and resentment and wrath.Why?If Im broken because of my pain whats your excuse?Why do you keep letting me treat you like a stray dog?Dont you have any respect for yourself?What the fuck is wrong with you?And just when I think I have my own slave for life you break the circle. You shut the door with a grimace of relief.You cant look at me anymore. See, youre finally free!My inner innocent girl is happy for you. But the monster inside kicks and laughs at me.Im left alone.I dress up and go hunting.
About This Quote
About Asper Blurry, Train to the Edge of the Moon
Asper Blurry, Train to the Edge of the Moon.
Themes
- Love — Quotes exploring romantic love, compassion, and human connection