“In the meantime, I had to get dressed and go to work, because going to work in my pajamas was apparently the definition of unprofessional. Cookie's words. I looked it up though. She was wrong. Webs...”

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, She was really happy when I got there. Im pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.You do have that effect on people.”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt”

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.I pointed to my right breast. This is Danger. Then my left. And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them according...”

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.”

“They certified that I was sane; but I know that I am mad." This confession gives us the key to what is most important and significant in Tolstoy's hidden life.”

“It is ridiculous - like a mad whirlwind... it's mad that I'm so famous.”

“Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.”

“Sex can be used either for self-affirmation or for self-transcendence either to intensify the ego and consolidate the social persona by some kind of conspicuous embarkation and heroic conquest, or...”

“He didn't know all that much about how the machinery worked anyway. Such knowledge was for specialists. In war, as in love, he was a fearless, happy-go-lucky adventurer.”

“If she did experience sex--or something close to it--in high school, I'm sure it would have been less out of sexual desire or love than literary curiosity.”