“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”

“Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be h...”

“That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.”

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong'.Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.”

“I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it.”

“I may err but I am not a heretic, for the first has to do with the mind and the second with the will!”

“The huge modern heresy is to alter the human soul to fit modern social conditions, instead of altering modern social conditions to fit the human soul.”

“The Catholic chruch as threatened your life - do you not want revenge? Have you not sold your hatred to the Pretestant cause to work against the church that has hunted you?""No," I said simply. "I ...”

“... People were never quite what you thought they were.”

“[H]e was still young enough to think that there was something fundamentally inhuman about thinking more than one step ahead at a time.”

“...if you bare your arse to a vengeful unicorn, the number of possible outcomes dwindles to one.”