“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”

“He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.”

“Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.”

“History isn't like that. History unravels gently, like an old sweater. It has been patched and darned many times, reknitted to suit different people, shoved in a box under the sink of censorship to...”

“How do you get all those coins?" asked Mort.IN PAIRS.”

“Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”

“A simple pecking order has always characterized mankind's relationship to waste: The wealthy throw out what they do not want, the poor scavenge what they can, and whatever remains is left to rot.”

“It is a hot summer day in Tennessee in the midst of the sixth decade of this century. The girl has climbed the fence to get to the swimming hole she has visited so many summers of her life in the t...”

“The health effects of air pollution imperil human lives. This fact is well-documented.”

“Does God get what God wants?Thats a good question. An interesting question. And its an important question that has given us much to discuss. But theres a better question. One that we actually can a...”

“Nobody fights over the opinion of which book is better. So why do we fight over which religion is better, if they're all based on books? Let us read and learn from them all and unite in our differe...”

“How many races have been dehumanized in the name of evolution and scientific race theories? Is a bomb a religious or a scientific invention?”