Quotes by Tucker Max

“No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of ...”

“I'm fresh out of fucks to give.”

“The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".”

“Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want”

“Ladies let me give you some advice: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as deserving respect; you get what you demand from people,”

“If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.”

“I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no ma...”

“If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.”

“Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you're going to get sick of it.”

“I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.”

“People, heed my warning: That stuff is Specials Olympics in a pint glass. You think they are harmless and not very strong, and the next thing you know it is an hour later and you are in the bathroo...”

“When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled.”

“The biggest thing I learned was, especially the way I operate and how I am as a person, if I'm going to do a creative endeavor, I need to have full, complete control. Top to bottom. And with my boo...”

“I turned down $2 million for this script. There's absolutely no way that had I filmed the script through a major studio they would have done anything but fuck this movie up. They would have cut all...”

“I try to make them understand it's not about getting pussy, it's about having fun. It's not about getting drunk, it's about being with your friends. It's not about dishing out put downs, it's about...”

“Redheadedcalin doll: Doll comes with an innocent smile. Pull her string and doesn't speak, she just opens her legs.”

“You see, I have fucked an amputee and a set of twins. If you add in a midget, you are looking at a legendary trifecta. How many other people can say they have done that? Seriously, raise your hand ...”

“I gave her an unmistakable I want to fuck you look, she shot me back a quick My spine hurts face, and I was smitten.”

“EEK EEK EEK!! That's dolphin for 'I'm sorry.' But you already knew that..”

“Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours?”