258 quotes found
“I have my welcome mat turned around backwards so when people leave they think theyre going to a better place.”
“Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit what else does a man need?”
“When I get to Heaven I just know I'm going to forget my toothbrush.”
“If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass”
“Poverty is a dish best served with Potato Soup.”
“I have a great book. Its called Stantasyland. Except I dont have the money to buy a million copies to put it on the bestsellers list.”
“When I finally applied logic to Religion that was when I quit paying after life insurance and quit going”
“If it has a name or a description it has or will exist at some point in time”
“Guilt, fear, sin, doubt. Guilt, fear, sin, doubt. Guilt, fear, sin, doubt. Thats what religion is all about.”
“I never see the color of a person. I never notice the color of their eyes. But the thing that always gets my attention. Is when the spout out lies”
“If you could observe every thought in your brain the magnitude of it's vastness would drive you insane.”
“If there's a place for me in Hell I hope it's next to someone like you”
“Decide the type of person you want to be, and when others arent looking, unique up on them.”
“If I wouldn't of spent so much time shooting spit wads at my English teacher I'd know how to punctuate good thing I normally write poetry.”
“I'd rather write poetry than watch TV it allows me to share the wide screen in me.”
“Some poems are written great, some poems are written swell. But then there are poems that could win a prize in Hell.”
“I have a book of poetry I believe many should read but in each verse you'll discover it wasn't written for greed.”
“I've been told by many the art of poetry's dead, I believe it's alive on pages they haven't read”
“I'm not worried about plagiarism, I don't care if every person between here and Hell's creation put their name on my work as long as it ends up in the eyes of someone that found peace in the words”
“There's two ways to become a famous Poet, find that one person that knows somebody, that knows somebody, that knows somebody.Or die trying”
