Quotes by Neil Simon

“I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.”

“[Y]ou're young. Young takes care of everything.”

“Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them." BlancheSomethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive." Kate”

“Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.”

“You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me in...”

“If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.”

“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”

“Everyone thinks they can write a play you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.”

“Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.”

“When its 100 degrees in New York, it's 72 in Los Angeles. When its 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it's still 72. However, there are 6 million interesting people in New York, and only 72 in ...”

“Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't impress me at all.”

“There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.”

“[Y]ou're young. Young takes care of everything.”

“Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't impress me at all.”

“And so she lived ... hopefully ... ever after.”

“Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.”

“You're welcome to take a bath. You look like the second week of the garbage strike.”

“If I had to make one comparison, I'd say that when it's five below in New York, it's 78 in Los Angeles, and when it's 110 in New York, it's 78 in Los Angeles; but there are 2,000,000 interesting pe...”

“People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?”

“Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.”