74 quotes found
Author · American · 1959
American author (born 1959)
“I am very much out of my element here. There are moments, listening to the conversations going on around me, when I feel I am going to lose my mind. Earlier today, I heard someone say the words, "I...”
“Footnote: In 1998, a woman in Saline, Michigan received a patent for a Decorative Penile Wrap...The patent included three pages of drawings, including a penis wearing a ghost outfit, another in the...”
“I walk up and down the rows. The heads look like rubber halloween masks. They also look like human heads, but my brain has no precedent for human heads on tables or in roasting pans or anywhere oth...”
“I challenge you to find a more innocuous sentence containing the words sperm, suction, swallow, and any homophone of seaman. And then call me up on the homophone and read it to me.”
“The point is that no matter what you choose to do with your body when you die, it won't, ultimately, be very appealing. If you are inclined to donate yourself to science, you should not let images ...”
“There, just beyond his open palm, was our mothers face. I wasnt expecting it. We hadnt requested a viewing, and the memorial service was closed-coffin. We got it anyway. Theyd shampooed and waved h...”
“think of it.' said Robert Rosenbluth, a doctor whose acquaintance i made at the start of this book. 'no engineer could design something as multifunctional and fine tuned as an anus. to call someone...”
“Heroism doesnt always happen in a burst of glory. Sometimes small triumphs and large hearts change the course of history. Sometimes a chicken can save a mans life.”
“Its possible that the reason I've never experienced a ghostly presence is that my temporal lobes aren't wired for it. It could well be that the main difference between skeptics (Susan Blackmore not...”
“The slang for the rectum is "prison wallet".”
“Gravity disappears again, and we rise up off the floor like spooks from a grave. It's like the Rapture in here every thirty seconds.”
“The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)”
“During World War II, when combat rations were tinned, meat hashes were a common entre because they worked well with the filling machines. But the men wanted something they could chew, something int...”
“With the rise of classical Greece, the soul debate evolved into the more familiar heart-versus-brain, the liver having been demoted to an accessory role. We are fortunate that this is so, for we wo...”
“It tastes like water spiked with strange.”
“The human digestive tract is like the Amtrak line from Seattle to Los Angeles: transit time is about thirty hours, and the scenery on the last leg is pretty monotonous.”
“While he attends to his rats, Persinger gives me the lowdown on the haunt theory. Why would a certain type of electromagnetic field make one hear things or sense a presence? Whats the mechanism? Th...”
“Constipation ran Presley's life. Even his famous motto TCB'Taking Care of Business'sounds like a reference to bathroom matters.”
“It's called the FATLOSE trail. FATLOSE stands for 'Fecal Administration To LOSE weight,' an example of PLEASEPretty Lame Excuse for an Acronym, Scientists and Experimenters.”
“What sort of person experimentally infests a child with maggots? A confident sort, certainly. A maverick. Someone comfortable with the unpretty facts of biology. Someone who is perhaps himself an u...”
