11 quotes found
“I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.”
“No really. If you only have seven years left, that means the Reaper will be dropping round for tea and buns in about 61,000 hours from now. You therefore shouldnt be wasting time by pootling to the...”
“These people go on to tell us that mobile phones will cook our childrens ears, that long-haul flights will fill our legs with thrombosis and that meat is murder. They want an end to all deaths and...”
“I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the 'Guardian' hating me. I like it when I read they want me to die painfully. Then I think I've really got under their skin. It's like annoying ...”
“If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, ever...”
“Boredom forces you to ring people you havent seen for eighteen years and halfway through the conversation you remember why you left it so long. Boredom means you start to read not only mail-order c...”
“I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvio...”
“I took ten days off and by 11 oclock on the first morning I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the newspapers and the Guardian and then and then what? By lunchtime I was so bored that I de...”
“These people go on to tell us that mobile phones will cook our children’s ears, that long-haul flights will fill our legs with thrombosis and that meat is murder. They want an end to all deaths – a...”
“Boredom forces you to ring people you haven’t seen for eighteen years and halfway through the conversation you remember why you left it so long. Boredom means you start to read not only mail-order ...”
“I took ten days off and by 11 o’clock on the first morning I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the newspapers and the Guardian and then… and then what? By lunchtime I was so bored that I ...”
