I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
“No really. If you only have seven years left, that means the Reaper will be dropping round for tea and buns in about 61,000 hours from now. You therefore shouldnt be wasting time by pootling to the...”
“I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the 'Guardian' hating me. I like it when I read they want me to die painfully. Then I think I've really got under their skin. It's like annoying ...”
“If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, ever...”
“I am not saying that Hitler was a choir boy. But I am saying, let him who was innocent in the Second World War cast the first stone.”
“Who I am as a guitarist is defined by my failure to become Jimi Hendrix.”
“Pride is ugly. It says, 'If you succeed, I am a failure.'”
“You don't know me. You know one me, just like I know one you. And you can't know every me, and I can't know every you.”
“When I knew people, I knew me and when I knew me, I knew people.”
“Our spirit knows our purpose, let these en-grained impressions shape our perceptions of who we think we are today.”
“Not everyone may not think the way you do.”
“I think you're wrong.""Think what you like.”
“To think, to think, even with a split second left - to think was the only hope.”