Quotes by Colin Quinn

“A few years back, they jacked David Copperfield in West Palm Beach, for Chrissake. Yes, it's funny: "Yo, empty your pockets," and he pulls out a bunny rabbit. But it's also depressing. If someone w...”

“Thank God for immigrants. They're the only ones who have any personality left. They still allow themselves emotions, judgments, and all those qualities that we are "evolving" past. I don't know wha...”

“A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what's being said is the party line.”

“I think the world honestly would be a much healthier place if instead of trying to find rationalizations for our bad behavior we would just say, "I was an asshole. Sure, there were reasons behind i...”

“The races are like America's children. White people are the firstborn, so they were Dad's favorite. Black people are the second kids, the abused ones, so they still hate Dad. Latinos are the third,...”

“You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.”

“I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write.”

“Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.”

“For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type...”