Quotes by Carol Burnett

“There's a quote of hers [Lucille Ball] that I've always loved: 'I guess I would rather regret the things I've done than to regret the things I've never done.”

“Dance, dance for meDance with the starsLaugh, laugh for meWherever you areSing, sing out loudLike angels doRemember meThe way I'll remember youLove, love for meWith all your soulCry, cry for meAs I...”

“Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.”

“We don't stop going to school when we graduate.”

“Celebrity was a long time in coming it will go away. Everything goes away. ”

“But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.”

“Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.”

“I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 mu...”

“I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking.”

“But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.”

“Comedy is tragedy - plus time.”

“It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.”

“My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.”

“My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.”

“My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a c...”

“I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.”

“Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.”

“Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that.”

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.”

“I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.”