41 quotes found
“An actor's a guy who if you ain't talking about him ain't listening.”
“The celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.”
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.”
“A secretary must think like a man act like a lady look like a girl - and work like a dog.”
“I once worked as a salesman and was very independent. I took orders from no one.”
“I never liked being a salesman. . . . Ever since I got my first two orders: Get out! and Stay out!”
“I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.”
“If law school is so hard to get through how come there are so many lawyers?”
“When asked to contribute ten dollars to a lawyer's funeral I said: "Here's fifty. Bury five of them."”
“I don't like the fact that doctors are referred to as practicing.”
“A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.”
“I hate being placed on committees. They are always having meetings at which half are absent and the rest late.”
“My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get except the blinding headaches.”
“The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid stable business.”
“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.”
“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead Spenser is dead so is Milton so is Shakespeare and I'm not feeling so w...”
