53 quotes found
“...but there's always he'll want to torture your boss anyway. Just recreationally, I mean.""Wow that would be terrific," I said”
“I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; and I know very well the judicious world is resolved to list me in that number. I conceive therefor...”
“Uh, excuse me, sir, I, uh, don't known how to uh, to uh, tell you this, but you were three minutes late. The schedule is a little, uh, bit off."He grinned sheepishly."That's ridiculous!" murmured t...”
“The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.”
“No, I say, it's fine.Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Just great, I say. Really.”
“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who will guard the guards?”
“The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret. [Fred. Free.]”
“It is proved...that things cannot be other than they are, for since everything was made for a purpose, it follows that everything is made for the best purpose.”
“Maud: Young women are never happy.Betty: Mother, what a thing to say.Maud: Then when they're older they look back and see that comparatively speaking they were ecstatic.”
“I replied that England (the dear place of my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity of food, more than its inhabitants are able to consume, ... But, in order to feed the luxury ...”
“He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend- provided of course he really is dead.”
“But by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race...”
“Oh well," McWatt sang, "what the hell.”
“It was madness to leave without your useless shit. You came in with it, you left with it--that was how it worked. What would you use to clutter a new office with if not your useless shit? We could ...”
“To be self-contented is to be vile and ignorant, ans that to aspire is better than to be blindly and impoitently happy.”
“Let Sporus tremble "What? that thing of silk, Sporus, that mere white curd of ass's milk?Satire or sense, alas! can Sporus feel?Who breaks a Butterfly upon a Wheel?"Yet let me flap this Bug with g...”
“Attend to your Configuration.”
“After riding like a moron all over the place, observes the face of an Indian when he crashes. He is stunned.”
“He would be a consul no doubt by and by, at some foreign port, of the language of which he was ignorant; though if ignorance of language were a qualification he might have been a consul at home.”
“Does it not whet your appetite for the critical opera omnia of such an author, where he will freely have at the lenth and breath of Scripture? Can you not see his promised land flowing with peanut ...”