“Youll slip up, just like everyone else who tries to mess with the British Empire. They all get it wrong somehow forget some detail, make some tiny error, invade Russia and then its all downhill f...”

“Remember youre all representing your country, and you ought to behave as the Empire does. So we can kill and loot at will, steal their goods and claim the planet as our own? Suruk said.”

“People get the wrong idea. I blame science-fiction writers, personally. It annoys me how they confuse the whole robot issue. I tell you, if I met that Asimov bloke, Id harm him, or at least through...”

“Moons have passed since last we met, battles fought and enemies fallen. At the bridge of Anrag I took fifteen heads. I overthrew the tyrant Dagrud War-Scythe and took his cattle as tribute to my sk...”

“By the way, you havent seen an alien around here, have you? About six foot eight with a face like a cross between a boar and an upturned crab. Probably carrying a spear and a bag full of severed he...”

“You’ll slip up, just like everyone else who tries to mess with the British Empire. They all get it wrong somehow – forget some detail, make some tiny error, invade Russia – and then it’s all downhi...”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”

“Tax not so bad a voice to slander music any more than once.”

“Difficult do you call it, Sir? I wish it were impossible. [on hearing a famous violinist]”

“He'd call me false and faithless and I've always had a weakness for those two words; next to cruel, they're the nicest words for a woman to hear, and not so hard to earn.”