“The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”

“Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.”

“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'""The mood will pass, sir.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“How can he not share his newfound joy with his fellow man? And it is joy. Theres a pure kind of joy in the certainty of belief. The certainty that your life has purpose and meaning.”

“Rush-hour on the A rain. A blind man staggers forth, his cane tapping lightlyown the aisle. He leans against the door,raises a violin to chin, and says Im sorry to bother you, folks. But please. Ju...”

“If you don't know when you're good, how can you know when you're bad?”