“As with most liberal sexual ideas, what makes the world a better place for men invariably makes it a duller and more dangerous place for women.”

“It may be a cliche, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself.”

“One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and 'doing a show.'”

“Fact is, famous people say fame stinks because they love it so - like a secret restaurant or holiday island they don't want the hoi polloi to get their grubby paws on.”

“As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That...”

“I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, posited in...”

“The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.”

“Its bad enough to be a girl, anyway, when I like boys games and work and manners!”

“Only time can heal your broken heart. Just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.”

“I see stunning men walking on the street everyday. Some walk shirtless because it's hot and they feel more comfortable that way. Do I scream out at them, beep at them or whistle? No, I smile to mys...”

“I don't know if anyone's ever told you this", he begins. He doesn't blush, and his eyes don't dart away. Instead I find myself staring into a pair of oceans - one perfect, the other blemished by th...”

“Im stuck babysitting turtle eggs while a volleyball player slash grease monkey slash aquarium volunteer tries to hit on me. Im not hitting on you, he protested.No?Believe me, youd know if I was hit...”

“Sam laughed, a funny, self-deprecating laugh. "You did read a lot. And spent too much time just inside the kitchen window, where I couldn't see you very well.""And not enough time mostly naked in f...”