“Maybe thats why God made childbirth so painful, so that when your life is wrecked by children you know it could be worse.”

“You look like shit. Thanks. I look way better than I feel.”

“My heart is an empty refrigerator.”

“You look like shit.” “Thanks. I look way better than I feel.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”