“Fear makes idiots out of us all, at some time or other.”

“When life doesn't meet your expectations, it was important to take it with grace.”

“The only certainty life contains is death.”

“Don't make light of any man's pain.”

“It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don't play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts.”

“Women are sneaky.”

“MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”