“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”

“It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.”

“I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.”

“Predictions are preposterous.”

“Right now I have enough money to last me the rest of my life - unless I buy something.”

“Ladies and gentlemen you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .”

“I have a romantic side.”

“Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong - but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong.”

“You always admire what you really don't understand.”