“The sergeants are shunted forward and they blink and stare up at Gonzo as he leans on the edge of his giant mixing bowl. MacArthur never addressed his troops from a mixing bowl--not even one made f...”

“Law is error, you see. It's an attempt to write down a lot of things everyone ought to know anyway.”

“Children, bored and opinionated, are scholars of the most dogmatic stripe.”

“Newton's work on gravity led to the discovery of the Lagrange point, a place where opposing forces cancel one another out, and a body may remain at relative rest. This is where I am right now; the ...”

“Its not that any sufficiently advanced technology is magic, its that any technology taking place beyond the threshold of our senses is.”

“Now, are those engaged in the business of governing any different by nature from those they govern?""Yes. They're prideful and tend to sexual misconduct. Also, the situation of being in government ...”

“In reality punk people are usually the gentlest, kindest folks you'll ever know. They're like hippies, only they wear way more black.”

“One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words Socialism and Communism draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, Nature Cure...”

“One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words ‘Socialism’ and ‘Communism’ draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, ‘Nature...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“I do not fear Satan half so much as I fear those who fear him.”

“Holy wisdom confounds Satan and all his wickednesses.”

“We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.”