“The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”

“Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.”

“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'""The mood will pass, sir.”

“We are all so guilty at the way we have allowed the world around us to become more ugly and tasteless every year that we surrender to terror and steep ourselves in it.”

“Prison always has been a good place for writers, killing, as it does, the twin demons of mobility and diversion”

“All others are outside myself;I lock my door and bar them outThe turmoil, tedium, gad-about.I lock my door upon myself,And bar them out; but who shall wallSelf from myself, most loathed of all?If I...”