“In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.”

“There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth ...”

“the squeeky wheel gets the grease.”

“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.”

“Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.”

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.”

“Silence is the loudest sound!”

“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”