“There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at trag...”

“I didn't know I was cool, but I was very flattered that some of the younger comedy writers came up to talk to me at the Emmys. I found that gratifying.”

“Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, 'Why is that person staring at me?'”

“I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they ...”

“I am one of the great wasters of time. I have made it an art form. I can get up at 8 o'clock in the morning, be out of the house by 8:30 and back by 5 P.M., and I'll be going all day long and accom...”

“I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.”

“Nothing to be proud of, nothing to regret.”

“The United States is proud to be the first country to recognize the existence of a Jewish State - just 11 minutes after Israel's independence was declared.”

“Ch'in Shih-huang is the first emperor of China. He united seven separate kingdoms into a single nation. He built the Great Wall and was buried with the terra-cotta soldiers. The Chinese have mixed ...”

“At one point in your life you have to decide whether you want to become a sachem or a solitary.”

“I fix my grandchildren's computers.”

“My grandchildren are fabulous and funny.”

“The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is.”

“There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.”

“The moral of the tale is, don't live for the approval of others. The real you is here to find out the secret of life, not to satisfy someone else's opinion.”