“Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports.”

“I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.”

“Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talkin...”

“I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.”

“To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.”

“To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.”

“Dont feel ashamed of working hard! Believe that things will change.”

“Be believing, be happy, don't get discouraged. Things will work out.”

“Hearts will break and people will hurt you, darling. Her mother said. But when you let those people control your outlook on the life, you only allow them to have a greater hold on your happiness. O...”

“I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people-to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole, to see the cause and think it's the effect or vice versa”

“At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear.”

“I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.”

“She let out a laugh, and then she put her hand over her mouth, like she was angry at herself for forgetting her sadness.”

“If you don't learn to laugh at life it'll surely kill you, that I know.”

“Through all of living have much joy and laughter, life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”