“Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports.”

“I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.”

“Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talkin...”

“To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.”

“To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.”

“You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing, you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll ...”

“The unique personality which is the real life in me, I can not gain unless I search for the real life, the spiritual quality, in others. I am myself spiritually dead unless I reach out to the fine ...”

“It is always worth asking, "Who speaks through us?”

“My Personalityunfolding before youlike a Swiss Army knife.”

“I am the perfect version of me.”

“But if you tame me, then weshall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, Ishall be unique in all the world.”

“I don't want the world to keep turning without me on it.”

“The true face of smoking is disease, death and horror - not the glamour and sophistication the pushers in the tobacco industry try to portray.”

“I like smoking! I mean, God, I quit everything else, can't I smoke?”

“Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.”