“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off!”

“Justice is the only worship.Love is the only priest.Ignorance is the only slavery.Happiness is the only good.The time to be happy is now,The place to be happy is here,The way to be happy is to make...”

“Be a good human.”

“Our country in general assumes that "the pursuit of happiness" really means "the pursuit of pleasure" and that therefore pleasure is the greatest good.”

“I sang 'All Of Me' at the wedding. I sang 'Stay With You' from my first album. And then Stevie Wonder came up and sang 'Ribbon In the Sky.' It was impromptu... It was cool... He's always been a fri...”

“The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.”

“Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.”

“The weight of the world is a trifle, if we all put our two fingers under it and try to lift together.”

“If we stick together as an American people we can bring down the war criminals that are running our country right now.”

“I have probably purchased fifty 'hot tips' in my career, maybe even more. When I put them all together, I know I am a net loser.”