“When shame is met with compassion and not received as conrmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see...”

“Power is confusing for us, perhaps even terrifying, because our relationship with it had an unfortunate beginning. Someone in a position of power over us used and abused usIt seems as if power were...”

“When we first begin to take power more directly, after long having kept our relationship to it underground...it is natural that we experience anxiety, even guilt, at putting ourselves first. These ...”

“For change to occur in us, we must be willing to enter the wilderness of the unknown and to wander in unfamiliar territory, directionless and often in the darkness....We do not need to keep every l...”

“In the grief that comes with recognizing what happened to us, we often feel there is nowhere to turn for solaceWe do things to keep it away, such as becoming overly busy or using drugs or alcohol t...”

“As we move away from the old role in which we were helplessly entrapped as a victim, we make friends with the people who affirm us. Their enthusiasm about us mirrors the positive experience we are ...”

“Stop looking for that person you were in the past. She has changed. Look for the person she has grown into. She is wiser and stronger than than ever before. Don't go back to who you were. Cherish w...”

“Closeness was the promise of suffering and pain”

“In spite of the horror, in spite of the tragedy, in spite of the weeks of sleepless nights, I'm finally alive. I'm not pretending. I feel real. I'm not playing charades anymore. I wouldn't go back ...”

“All work is the avoidance of harder work.”

“If you pay attention, you may find that it is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable, so you ...”

“Laws of silence dont work. When something is festering in your memory or your imagination, laws of silence dont work, its just like shutting a door and locking it on a house on fire in hope of forg...”

“You can't always rely on taking the pain. You need to learn to avoid it.”

“The world of reality exists. The world of fantasy exists. The great boundary between the world of reality and the world of fantasy is the boundary of pleasure and fallacy. So many people enter into...”

“Defensive devaluation is a protective device that makes love bad, trust unimportant and people "no darn good any way". People who have been deeply hurt in their relationships will often devalue lov...”