“For love to work, each spouse has to realize his or her freedom. And boundaries help define the freedom we have and the freedom we do not have. Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relati...”

“Certainly, child rearing requires many different interventions. There are times for helping, for not getting involved, or for being strict, But the real issue is this: Is what you are going being d...”

“If you do not forgive, you are demanding something your offender does not choose to give, even if it is only confession of what he did. This "ties" him to you and ruins boundaries. Let the dysfunct...”

“Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. By this time, they should have mastered the following tasks:1. The ability to be ...”

“We grow in part by confessing our faults and weaknesses to each other (James 5:16; Eccl. 4:10). If we are always being strong and without needs, we are not growing, and we are setting ourselves up ...”

“Page 99: "...unless something changes, the future that you can expect is more of the past. Sorry or becoming committed does not make Jim Carrey a great golfer, or made Jack nicklaus funny. Recommit...”

“You can't always rely on taking the pain. You need to learn to avoid it.”

“The world of reality exists. The world of fantasy exists. The great boundary between the world of reality and the world of fantasy is the boundary of pleasure and fallacy. So many people enter into...”

“You are not supposed to go out and find love. Love will find you when you are ready.”

“You do not find love. It finds you.”

“Love is supposed to lift you up, not hold you down. It is supposed to push you forward, not hold you back.”

“Each category is generalized to the greatest possible extent, so that it eventually loses all specificity and is reabsorbed by all the other categories. When everything is political, nothing is pol...”